my journal is gone

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we have lost our dear charley to a stroke.  in the eight years that charley i spent together, most days just the two of us, it never crossed my mind that the one thing that we would share would be a stroke.  if you don’t know the story you can read it here, charley.

very quickly i have come to realize that charley was my journal.  we were live journalling all day every day, just the two of us.  i find it much easier to remember my thoughts if i say them out loud, i can often chase words around in my head for the longest time and just as often never catch enough of them to make a team.  so i told them to charley.

i asked her opinion, i answered for her, i complained and was short with her, i asked her what music she wanted to listen to, i would tell her how stupid i could be, i always told her whether my book was amazing or just so so and i would ask her what she wanted for dinner even though she never had a drop of people food in her whole life.  i took her everywhere.

today i was organizing a junk drawer, a good activity for me when i am looking for a lost thought and i came across a face down photo.  i knew before turning it over that it would be of charley and it was.

i took a new journal, i placed the photo inside and i will write down all the things i would have asked charley to remember.

xo

5 thoughts on “my journal is gone

  1. this just brought tears to my eyes. i had a dog like that once, and it is so hard to lose them. she was well-loved, and that is everything. i am so sorry for her absence in your life. the journal is an excellent idea.

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